Yesterday I went for my usual evening walk up to the woods. It’s not far from my flat and it almost feels like the countryside. Almost. There’s two rope swings side by side on a slope, one is a sitting one which is the biggest and best, the other is a hanging one, OK but no-ones first choice.

If it’s free I have a go on the seated one, you can swing out about 30ft and about 15-20ft of the ground. It’s really good, you almost hit a tree across the clearing but not quite.

So I got a little bored swinging back and forth on this swing, and remembered the rope swing in the woods when i was a child. It was majorly huge, it was on a slope about 20 ft up and you could swing for maybe 60 ft across the river. You could also swing in a circle around the tree. Hmmm. Around the tree. Nope, not possible with this one, its bushes and brambles. So what would happen? I knew i wouldn’t swing bak in the same arc i went in, but a part of me said, “you’ll just swing back somehow”. So i climb up by the tree and ran round, flew out.

Yeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaarrrrrggghhhhooooshiiiiiiiiitt! Obviously annoyed at my breaking with convention the tree ran straight at me with it’s trunk. I stuck out my hand quickly to shake an apology but the tree wasn’t happy and hit it with all 5ft of its width. Then as an after thought it decided to whack the stick my nuts were on.

I kind of slide off the swing in true Roadrunner style, half grinning half grimacing, looking around to see if anyone had seen my stupidity. Thankfully no-one had. Paid my respects to the tree, and cowboyed it home.

Here’s my bruised hand, nuts not shown.

my bruised hand

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